Firstly, I am really very very very disappointed with SINGTEL service. I am really pissed off and upset with their service. Its not the first time i encountered such a problem, its endless time! endless time! I mean, firstly, how can they barred my line just because of a UNKNOWN outstanding balance of SGD$3.00! Yes, just some pathetic $3 and they barred my line because of this! Next, they changed my phone account number WITHOUT even informing me, thus, i made the wrong payment to the wrong account. And that, I needed to waste half an hour of my time to speak to the customer servcie officers who keep on pushing the responsibility to others! How can they be so so so irresponsible? Now, till now, my line is still been barred from everything. How am i supposed to call people in case of emergency? FTL!
Next, my pathetic laptop keep on giving me problems now adays, firstly my laptop spoilt, next my phone black out, now, my line kana barred, so what's next hur?
Anyway, I sensed my beloved baby coming back to find me on the 7th day, i don't know if its really the truth, because i really sense her present :) People that is close to me will know that i have 6th sense, so i don't think my senses would be wrong. I wasn't afraid, terrified or whatever you name it upon having this feeling that she came back, in fact, i felt relieved and happy, don't ask me why i felt this way, is just a feeling that you cant describe. Hmmm, just imagine that someone you love dearly passed on and came back to look for you? The feeling would be warm instead of those errie kind of feel.
Till date, i still couldn't forget all the memories with her, almost everything that i have done links me to her, and its really weird that she not around, anymore. Well, many of you would think that i am a irresponsible "mum" , yes, indeed i am, and to be frank, i'm really guilty about this, is something i would never forgive myself for the rest of my life, for not been able to take care of her, showered her with plenty of love when she is still alive. I cant help letting my family members felt upset, i know they love her just as much as i love my baby.
Daddy tried his best not to scold me, upset me, and even cooked my favorite food for me to cheer up. I really appreciated it dad! I got to act strong in front of everybody, i can't afford to let those that care about me down anymore. I held my tears, i put on a strong front, and acts as if nothing happen in front of them, just to make sure they wont worry about me. But, who really knows that i teared in the middle of the night, thinking of those memories left for me? Seeing her pictures really makes me teared, but who really understands?
For this 2 years, i chose not to publish out her photos in my blog, is because i wanted to protect her privacy, this is the least i can do as her mummy. Perhaps time can really heals everything, but not forgetting everything.
well, Shall end my post here...
Would be un-contactable these few days, you may drop me a message in FB/ twitter, will reply from there then.
♥ xiiao michelle ♥
My apology to readers for not updating my blog, due to personal reasons. This will be a post specially dedicated to my beloved baby whom had passed away recently.
Its been days since my dearest baby left me to her wonderland,
It has been days since i cried and felt so emotional over my little baby.
At times, i would think if i am the one who caused her death, did i really play my part as a mother?
I really regret letting her being so lonely most of the times because i don't really have time for her, i regretted neglecting her days before she passed away. I really blamed myself for not being with her for the last time. Perhaps i really shouldn't have work on that day, so that i can see her for the last time, so that she will rest in peace. :( Looking back at the memories she left behind really saddens me, i really never realized that i didn't really took much of her pictures. :(
I will never ever forget the moment i saw her laying motionless outside her room, and no matter how many times i called, shout, blow her, she just won't wake up, that's when i knew that she is really gone. I know that she did not rest in peace, i know she wanted to see me for the last time, but failed to make it in the end. Sorry, my dearest baby, I'm really sorry, i failed my part as a mummy. I really hope that you will find a better family in your next life. :'( Always remember that mummy love you.
I really hope that i can revert back the time, so that i can spend more time with her. If i had spent more time with her, she might be happier, more active, more healthy. I really missed her alot! How i wish i can see her for the last time. I really don't have the chance to buy her favorite snack, feed her favourite food, play with her favorite toy, bring her out to breeze anymore.
Always remember, if you think you still have ample time to spend with your loves one, then you are wrong! Because we will never know what will happen in the next second, so do remember, always spend more time with your loved ones, do all the things that you promised them, let them know that you really love them alot.
Life is really fragile and unpredictable, moments ago you still see them lively, moments later, they are not there anymore. We cant prevent our loved ones to be with us forever, neither we can predict the next moments, so what is the most important point here is to spend, cherish more time with them, be it just a simple gathering or stuffs, i'm sure this will really bright up their days!
Shall end my post here, tears kept rolling down my cheeks these few days the moment i think of her. Hais :(
♥ xiiao michelle ♥
Happy Mother's day to all of the Mothers in this world! I hope you enjoy this special day today!!
And also not to forget, to the 2 most important mothers in my life!
Firstly, to my real mum, whom i am not able to see her anymore, i would really like to thank her for bringing me up all this while. Though i may quarrels with you, rebel you, i always love you as my mum. I used to think that i am always right, and would always argue with you on those tiny little matters, and thinking that you just wanting to invade my privacy, but as i grow older each day, i really agreed with what you say. What you say are really true. At times, i really wish i could share with you all my problems, just like how i used to do when i was a kid.
Ever since you are gone, i began to feel loneliness, and i began to know what is motherly love. I really regretted those things that i did to you, making you feel angry, sad, and even helpless. Sometimes, i really hide under the bedsheets, sobbing, hoping that you can come back to my side. :( To the extend that i will teared in the public when i think about you, or walking down those places that you used to bring me go. Its really been quite some time since i last dream of you. What is happening to me? I really hope that time can be reverted, and i will never let those things happen to you again. I don't wish to separate with you! :'( At times, i really envy those families that gather together. Ever since you not by our side anymore, things turn differently. We seldom go out as a family anymore, and there seems to be less laughter and warmness.
Brother keep saying that i am the one that causes this, perhaps its true, perhaps i am really the culprit that causes all this mess! I really wished that i'm the one who is gone, rather than you, because this family really need you alot! Mum, do you know what? I really miss those days going out with you, from going to mini marts, to shopping centres, i really miss those days. I know you are always beside me to guide me through my life, though i wont be able to see you, but i sense you instead. I really wish that i can have 1 more chance to say " I love You " again. Do you really know i really miss and love you? I really wish that you can read this post, i really wish that you will know what is happening to my life, i really wish i can hear your voice, hold your lovely hands again. Will i ever be able to do it again?
And next, to my lovely god-mum :
I really counted myself lucky to know you, and have you by my side to guide me through, ever since my real mum is away. You are like a second mum to me, which i really love you dearly too! I saw you like my real mum, your caring really melts my heart! Maybe this fate is brought to me by my mother? Though at times i might be blur, might agitated you, but you never fail to leave me alone, you always try to bring me back to senses when i did something wrong. Thank you for bringing me back to the right track when i was rebellious at that time, i really glad that you guide me through, if not, i might be in some remands or jail, and having bad records in my life. Thank you for supporting what i do, i really appreciated it! Remember to watch your health too alright mummy? Don't be so workaholic hor! Remember, i love you too! And, happy mother's day to you! I hope you enjoy yourself today. :) And hope you like my present!
Last but not least, I really love you two! Happy mothers' day to the both of you! Thank you for bringing me up, for being there for me, guiding me all along~ Thank You.
* PS : Do give me some time to post my overdue food reviews! I'm sorry for those who waited, i am really busy recently! Pardon me yeah! i promise i will post it up soon!!
♥ xiiao michelle ♥
Will be back to update as my laptop is giving me problems recently.
Don't abandon my blog. Thank you.
And if you happen to see any advertisements on my blog, remember to help me click alright? <3 you!
♥ xiiao michelle ♥
